Many of us find initiating and cultivating friendships with unbelievers difficult. Many more of us find getting to the gospel, discussing spiritual issues, proclaiming Christ even more difficult. Here are some thoughts on getting over the proverbial hump in a relationship to talk about spiritual things and the work of Christ.

First, often there won’t be a clear time to bring up Christ in a relationship. If we are waiting for some voice from heaven telling us its time to bring up the gospel in a relationship we probably never will. Sometimes we will talk about spiritual things in the first few minutes of a relationship, other times it may be months. It may depend on frequency and nature of our contact with our friend. While we want to be wise and aware of our friend’s openness I would generally say, the sooner the better. When it comes down to it the issues of tone and tact are probably more important than timing.

Second, any conversation about Christ will probably have some level of awkwardness. Perhaps this shouldn’t be the case, but in our fallen and weak state it is. The more we talk openly about Christ with all kinds of people the more comfortable we will be in doing so. Also, keep in mind that the more awkward you act the more awkward your friend will feel. Remind yourself that you are bringing up an issue that everyone thinks about at times, that is of immeasurable importance to you, and that is a matter of reality.

Third, sometimes it is simply time to be bold. This is not to say that tact is not needed or that we intentionally put the other person in an awkward position. However, you probably know if you are procrastinating. If you have been friends with an individual for some time maybe it is time to sit down with them and in a sincere way just ask them if you could talk with them about a message that is of supreme importance to you.

Sometimes we stress out too much about getting the timing and tone exactly right. Generally, if we are loving our friend, concerned about their spiritual condition, and praying for God’s work in their hearts our tone and timing will be appropriate. It may be time to move ahead in love and trust God with our friendship.

Fourth, don’t give up on or end a friendship if your friend doesn’t respond positively. If your friend does not respond to the message of the gospel, it does not mean that your friendship is over. They are not a failed assignment- they are a friend that you love, will continue to pray for, and will seek to continue to talk about the message of the gospel with.

Also, assume and seek to have your initial conversation about the gospel be a starting point for more conversations. We tend to think God is going to work right away or not at all. Be willing to discuss their questions over time and look for more opportunities to bring up the truths of the gospel. Often, once the door is open these conversations will come much more easily.

This whole process is difficult and in fact risky (surprise, surprise- I think I read somewhere about risk being a part of following Christ). The risk is small however in light of the reward- the pleasure of God and the potential of seeing our friend worship God for eternity.

One more note- I write from little experience and much need. Please pray for and help me apply the things I’m writing in this series.

This entry was posted by Tim Pickard on Thursday, June 26th, 2008 at 5:25 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.