One-to-One Ministry
Tony Payne from Matthias Media recently wrote an article on one-to-one ministry. Take some time to read the highlights below and consider how God might be calling you to ministry to another believer.
Yet of course there is another level to Christian ministry that is equally important, though it is often neglected: personal or one-to-one ministry. While both large public meetings and small groups do provide teaching and encouragement that is applicable to each individual, they cannot possibly be as effective as one individual meeting with another. Here the word of God can be applied to the unique situation of each person; topics can be addressed according to each person’s stage of Christian growth; the gospel can be shared personally with someone who is not yet Christian; and prayer can be focused on the individual’s concerns and needs as they relate to God’s kingdom.
In many churches, however, effective, purposeful one-to-one ministry is either non-existent, or, at best, haphazard. It is usually regarded as being the domain of the minister. Yet, as we shall see below, one-to-one ministry is something that every Christian can be involved in. It requires no ordination, no examination, no qualification and no invitation. It can be done anywhere, anytime with anyone. And it is one of the most profound mechanisms for spiritual growth that exists.
Effective one-to-one Christian ministry is not limited to counseling, nor is it essentially about solving personal or emotional problems. What is it then? It is forming a relationship with another individual for the purpose of mutual growth in Christian understanding, obedience and service of others.
Personal ministry is built on forming a warm, friendly and genuine relationship with someone. It is a deliberate relationship with a particular focus or purpose (see further below). And yet it is a genuine relationship. We ought not to treat other people impersonally, initiating a friendship with them only in order to meet some ministry goal, and then discarding them when it is met, or when no progress is being made. The warmer, closer and more genuine the relationship, the more profound the effect will usually be of one upon another.
Starting and building this sort of relationship will take time and effort. It will probably mean spending time with the other person just getting to know each other—going to concerts or sporting events, building the carport, having coffee after shopping, sharing in the family Sunday lunch, or whatever it might be.
At a certain point, the relationship can develop in a way that promotes Christian growth, but even if it does not (perhaps because of the resistance of the other person to God’s word), then the relationship should still continue. We must not treat people as objects or projects.
The other person we form a ministry relationship with may be a Christian we wish to encourage, or a non-Christian person we hope to see converted. It matters little. What is quite apparent is that we won’t be able to maintain many of these relationships at the one time. This means that it is all the more important that more Christians begin to grasp the importance of one-to-one ministry. It is something everyone can be doing.
The goal of one-to-one ministry is growth. Starting a friendship is not difficult, but progressing to positive Christian ministry and encouragement is a step many never make. We need to be purposeful and courageous at this point. We need to take the initiative to discuss Christian things with our friends, to kick-start a conversation about last Sunday’s sermon or the book we’re reading or the part of the Bible we’re studying. Most people are very glad of the opportunity to discuss these things, and are grateful for you taking the trouble to initiate the conversation.
However, one-to-one ministry usually means going further than this—to the point of suggesting meeting together for a particular purpose: to read the Bible, to pray, to use a particular set of studies together, or whatever it might be. As we do so, our purpose is not just growth, but mutual growth. No one person has a monopoly on godliness or spiritual truth. Out of the mouths of babes and infants God brings forth praise (Matt 21:16). Our relationships should be mutually helpful, even if one of us is more mature as a Christian. It is not a professional relationship of expert to client; it is iron sharpening iron. It is confessing our sins to one another.
Our purpose is growth, and growth normally comes in recognizable stages, step by step. For non-Christians, as we relate to them and love them, we want to see them come to know Christ, to repent and put their faith in him. If the person we are ministering to one-to-one is a new Christian, we want to see him become firm and established in his knowledge and trust in God, and to deal with all the messy issues that people bring with them into the kingdom. If the person has already been a Christian for some time, and is fairly stable in his faith, we will want to see him grow and be stretched in areas that he is weak in, and we will want him to become an active, well-equipped servant of others.
Payne concludes by giving five practical steps-
1- Start a Friendship
2- Use a Framework [idea is to structure time around material of some kind]
3- Read Together
4- Pray Together
5- Do Things Together
6- Keep At It