Insightful Article on Test-Driving
Michael Lawrence- a pastor at Capitol Hilll Baptist- recently wrote an article entitled- “Stop Test Driving Your Girlfriend.” It is quite helpful in addressing not just outward tendencies in the normalized world of dating but also inward attitudes.
While this article may not apply to many in our body directly it is sure to be helpful indirectly as we adjust our thinking as a whole and develop biblical understandings on subjects such as this.
July 26th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
It is interesting how similar this concept is to the book that we are reading in our small group. I am thinking of writing a book called “Stop dating your girlfriend and fall in love with your wife” or something…
Now because of God’s grace I had planned for years to only date one woman and marry her, why I don’t know I guess that is just me, but I think that it is a great idea looking back. Obviously everything doesn’t work out but let’s go back to his car analogy. Who would go to a Yugo dealership and drive a car around for a while because it was cheap and easy when it is known that an F-350 (a big truck) is needed. Long story short, don’t date someone you don’t have the intention to marry. If the women/girl you are dating isn’t someone that has the Godly qualifications you will need to establish a God honoring marriage then stop. Depending on your heart in the matter it could very well be an act of sin against her and of course God.
Onto a more encouraging note…
From the article: No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?
Actually a not so encouraging point first, love is not easy. Read the Bible on love (1 Corinthians 13) and you will find that love is an attribute of God not of humanity. To balance that out though being saved through the love of Jesus Christ and to share that love with others especially someone as close as a wife is beyond description, so don’t lose hope. My original point however was that you don’t have to get married to a stranger. There will always be some things you never knew and I am sure even after 50 years you will still discover things about your spouse that amaze you, but I think that an honest pre-marital relationship can prevent the “honeymoon is over” syndrome.
For example, when dating your future wife (Lord willing) be yourself and be honest. If she happens to love to walk around the house singing loudly all the time and quite frankly you wish it was whisper silent you may have a problem if you refuse to say anything. So now when you get married your operatic wife is suddenly wondering what happen to the man who told her how much he loved her singing and why this new one is asking for some peace and quiet. There are hundreds of other situations that could apply but the premise is the same: Be Honest in everything. It will probably be hard but can be a great opportunity to grow in learning how to compromise on differences (the kind which are neither right nor wrong).
I have known Sarah longer than we have been married so I may be quite wrong here but it is the best I know, and advice is free.
July 27th, 2006 at 10:02 am
Nick,
What songs does Sarah sing as she walks around the house? Is she on key? Do you ever join her? Great thoughts. Thanks for sharing them.